When I first heard the oxygen mask metaphor – put your oxygen mask on before you put it on anyone else – I loved it. Yes! I thought. Finally, someone is acknowledging that we’re human beings and have to take care of our own basic needs first!
After years of hearing that metaphor and watching people hold their breath as they run around the cabins of their lives, though, that metaphor now makes my eyes roll. Here are the flaws in that metaphor AND how to let it still serve you:
- Survival Mode versus Chronic Stress– If oxygen masks start dropping out of the ceiling, chances are you and everyone else on that plane are in full-on survival mode. That’s not what stress looks like every day, so it’s easy to tell yourself the diet can start next week or I’ll catch up on sleep this weekend. Remind yourself that the everyday stress you experience can be just as devastating in the long run and that it’s ok to put your health first.
- Limited Responsibility versus Owning Everything – How many people could you actually help in that metaphorical plane? The 1 or 2 people next to you? It’s not likely you could even help the people in front of or behind you in a turbulent plane. That’s not necessarily how you might feel in your everyday life. If your a classroom teacher, your immediate responsibility is to the 30 kids in front of you. If you’re a school administrator, you might feel responsible for the entire student body and even their families. While the oxygen mask metaphor might not match what you’re typically responsible for, it can serve as a good reminder that you can’t be everything to everyone.
- A One Time Affair versus Daily Habits – I hope that you and I will never be in a situation like a plane in danger of crashing. However, stress is a part of life and chronic stress can be extremely damaging to your body, mind and spirit. It’s easy to lose sight of how much stress you’re actually under on a regular basis. On the bright side of things, you do develop resilience from navigating everyday stress. On the brighter side of things, being aware of all the little stressors in your life and creating healthy habits to help you manage them will allow you to thrive.
The oxygen mask metaphor just doesn’t jive with our lived reality, but that doesn’t make its message any less relevant. Your own needs matter. You can do more for others when you put your own well-being first. So, the next time someone reminds you to put on your metaphorical mask, stop your eyes from rolling and remind yourself of the hidden lessons in the message.
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