While getting coached the other day, I noted a new approach I was taking to my blog posts. The plan was to wipe the page clean and start fresh with posts that are much more personal and show a side of me that I am uncomfortable sharing. Along with that discomfort though, was a feeling of liberation and excitement. My coach spent the rest of the session exploring this positive energy. It went from a coaching session where I didn’t have a clear goal or topic, to one of the most powerful coaching sessions I’ve experienced.
It’s easy for us to experience something positive, smile, and then move on with our day. As one client told me, “It feels so good when I accomplish something on my list, but I never hang on to that feeling.” Sitting with a positive experience–whether it’s a brief moment with a family member, a fun night out with friends, or crossing something off our to-do list–allows us to hang onto the memory of the experience and the feelings associated with it.
There’s also a lot of research on the relationship between positive emotions and their impact on chemicals in our brain. For instance, dopamine, the chemical related to our reward system, seems to spike when we experience positive emotions. Reflecting on a positive experience after it happens also strengthens the neural pathways in our brain, making it easier to recall the experience when needed. Then, when we revisit experiences we get another dose of those feel good vibes.
Here’s a simple strategy I use to make the most of positive experiences:
- Carve out time to reflect on the positive. Taking a few minutes to think about the good things that happened each day and recalling how those things made me feel is key. Sometimes I do this while doing other activities that don’t require much thinking (folding laundry, washing dishes, etc.). It’s even better though when I sit in silence and allow myself to be fully immersed in the memory. The more I can recreate the experience in my mind, the more I’m strengthening those neural pathways that will help me recall the experience later.
- Journal. After recalling the experience and my emotions, I jot down a few notes in a journal. A simple 1-2 sentences describing what happened and listing how I felt is really all I need. If journaling is not your thing, you could try other modalities like an audio or video recording.
- Periodically reading my journal. It’s nice to have a resource to help me recall the good things I’ve experienced and tap into my own personal reserve of positivity. I have a tendency to do this when I’m having a rough day or when my energy is a little low, and I’m working to make this a more regular habit like once a week or at least once a month.
Sitting with our positive experiences and the accompanying emotions feels great. Many people are hoping to infuse more joy into their lives, but forget to start with finding the joy that already exists in their lives. By incorporating my own joyful practices, I’ve begun to experience joy in simple moments that I may have overlooked in the past. There’s also evidence that sitting with our positive emotions helps us to find deeper meaning in our lives. Stay tuned for my next post to learn more!
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