I’ve always viewed taking care of myself as a responsibility, something I need to do out of respect for the life I’ve been given. That’s meant exercising regularly, getting enough sleep, and eating healthy. (Or mostly healthy – I LOVE food, had a limited understanding of healthy eating, and have a serious sweet tooth!)
These are areas of my life that I’ve set firm boundaries around. Even as a busy school principal, I made sure that I exercised rigorously at least 4 times a week. I kept a consistent bedtime. I started each morning with breakfast, made sure I had some “healthy” snacks I could access if I didn’t have time to sit down for a meal, and limited my dessert intake. I came as close as I could to what I perceived to be healthy habits, a sort of checklist for self-care.
I now see how short-sighted my idea of health used to be. Between the practices on my self-care checklist, I worked almost non-stop. Evenings, weekends and holidays were times to catch up on work or to get ahead. I barely had a social life. When I did spend time with friends, the only thing I had to talk about was work so I said very little. I was lacking in so many of the things that make me feel truly healthy, like joyful movement, spiritual connection, and deeply connected relationships.
As much as my self-care checklist was meant to honor my body’s needs, it played a huge role in disconnecting me from my body. Don’t get me wrong – setting boundaries and healthy habits are great practices. The problem was that I just followed a routine without checking in with myself. I’d do a strenuous cardio workout that I didn’t enjoy, as if the displeasure I felt had no bearing on my well-being. I’d go to bed at the same time every night, even on the nights when my body was begging me for more sleep.
It took stepping back from the hustle and grind of my former work, reflecting on myself and redefining what health means to me to realize how much I had really been ignoring my body. As I work to be more self-loving and to set a new standard for my well-being, I’ve come to learn that wellness starts within.
- True health and wellness include things only I can measure. I don’t disregard advice from the medical community about what my cholesterol levels should be, or how much exercise or sleep I should be getting. However, I’ve reframed my thinking around things like joy, friendships, and recreation as factors in my overall health rather than seeing them as indulgences.
- Checking in with myself – body, mind and spirit – is fundamental to self-care. How is my body feeling? What do I have energy for? What do I really need? These sound like simple questions, but years of ignoring my body until it was screaming for my attention made it hard for me to find honest answers at first.
- I know my BS meter. I have too much to do to squeeze in a meditation, but I could watch a few episodes of my favorite show. I’m too tired to workout, but I’m down for driving 30 minutes to the bakery I love! (There’s that sweet tooth!) When these thoughts start popping up, it’s time to check back in with my body to see if I’m just bullshitting my way out of what it needs. Often, it’s a yes. Sometimes though, I find some other unmet need like rest, a change of scenery, connecting with people, or even recognizing and sitting with unpleasant emotions.
Reminding myself that wellness starts within has allowed me to approach my health and well-being in a more self-compassionate way. It’s been a game-changer for me. What might it do for you?
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